DeLong Photography Blog

Photographers providing authentic photographs, modern heirloom albums, and more for those who value a comfortable and fun experience 
Based in Charlotte, North Carolina. Available for travel.

What Not to feel Guilty About – Wedding Planning

A beautiful dessert table display relating to the discussion of what not to feel guilty about

Feeling Guilty

Ever since the term “bridezilla” was coined, brides have been apprehensive to make requests that may not be what every guest wants. No matter how hard we may try to plan our big day, it’s simply impossible to please everyone. We need to reflect one what it is we (as the bride and groom) truly want. Nonetheless, feeling guilty about some of our decisions pops up. Whether it’s the financial strain on dear-old dad, or cutting a close co-worker from our guest list, it happens. So just in case you’re in the thick of it, and you’re feeling guilty, let me ease your stress. Here are the top six decisions brides shouldn’t feel guilty about when wedding planning.

1) Receiving Financial Help

If your parents, future-in-laws, close aunt or whoever is helping you foot the bill (or paying for the whole thing), it’s nothing to be ashamed about. It’s no one’s business who pays for what anyway! Be happy you have people who care so much about you, they’re happy to do this for you!

2) Not Asking Someone to be a Bridesmaid

Future sister-in-laws, past BFF’s, and other various family members may be someone you’d like to be a special part of your day, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you want them as a bridesmaid. On top of that, most couples want to have a balanced number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, so choosing a number between your spouse can be stressful. Don’t feel obligated to add someone into your bridal party whom you really don’t want. This day is about you and your spouse-to-be. Consider having those outliers be an attendant, an assistant, or an usher.

3) Not Giving Everyone a Plus One

This can get some guests worked up. While you would love to invite your entire family, your and their friends, your co-workers, and more – this usually isn’t possible. Every wedding has a budget, no matter how large or small, and every couple has an idea of how large or small they want their guest count to be. No matter the reason, you may not want every attending guest to bring a plus one. Unless the guests are married or have been in a long term relationship, you are not obligated to give them a plus one.

I, for one, did allow everyone to bring a plus one, despite how intimate my wedding was. My wedding photos have a few people in them that floated out of my family member’s lives as quickly as they flew in. I must admit, it’s a little weird looking at these stranger’s faces while perusing my wedding images. Just keep that in mind when making your own decision. How much would it bother you? If you don’t want random people at your wedding or in your wedding photos, stick to your guns!

4) Not Inviting Kids

This is the holy grail of decisions that cause people to get wound up, and make you feel guilty for making this decision. Not only did I myself experience this one, but I can’t tell you how many brides I read about in my online groups that are asking for help on this topic. Let me be abundantly clear – it’s your day. If the idea of children running around, potentially having babies cry through the audio of you saying your vows, or any other reason that makes you prefer children not attend, then children shouldn’t attend.

This requirement is actually becoming more and more popular. Despite some push-back, questions, or even eye-rolls, everyone can work out finding a babysitter. There are actually services (can we be surprised? It’s 2019) catering to this exact situation. They will babysit all of the children during the wedding in a hotel room (or location of your choosing) until the event is over. (A few examples of companies that do this are Kiddie Corp, Playaction Parties, and LA Wedding Sitter). Don’t get forced into doing anything you don’t want. We know plenty of parents who look forward to this type of wedding so they can kick back, and enjoy a kid-free night.

5) Breaking Away From Tradition

As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, couples are making wedding days about them more and more. Weddings used to be more about the parents, and it was a religious event. Nowadays, ceremonies can be indoors or outdoors, officiated by anyone with a license, and there are wedding themes like Harry Potter or Game of Thrones. While some older members of your family may balk at your non-traditional choices, you need to be happy, and they should respect your choices.

6) Having a Smaller Guest List

Your day should be filled with the people you and your future spouse love. If you’re happier with a more intimate affair, then do it! Whether it’s venue restrictions, your timeline, or your vision – having a small guest list is just fine! Don’t let anyone try to bowl you over with how they feel your wedding should be.

I hope you found this post helpful, and if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to reach out! Happy planning!

Black and white image of Tim and Shannon DeLong of DeLong Photography in Riverfront Park park smiling at the camera

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